So the other day you were all down on yourself for choking on your Snapple selection. You were considering the Lime Green Tea but at the last minute went with the safe bet instead, Kris’ Half and Half. And I said: “It’s fine, don’t beat yourself up. You didn’t miss anything.”
But then afterwards I was thinking about it like, “Dag, am I right?” Because I only tried it once, and I don’t remember liking it, but who knows. Wasn’t that the same morning that bratty kid from next door trampled my impatiens? I had to chase him with a rake. Afterwards I could not tell my blood from his. I mean who knows what external stuff was affecting my outlook that day.
So today I busted it on down to the Mobilmart (they actually have one of the best soda and juice selections on this side of town, and are to be commended) and bought another bottle. Oh man, I’m here to tell you: I screwed the pooch.
It is AWESOME. It is AOK and SFG [So Freaking Good -ed.]. This is a tea for a refined palate. It’s not overly sweet, which is a problem with a lot of the fruitier teas. The lime is subtle and you can feel that green tea just sliding down like silver. I only bought one, but if I’da bought three, I would have dranken all three in quick succession.
If you put a gun to my head, I would say: “It’s easily in the top 5 Snapple flavors.” And then if you cocked the hammer I’d be like: “TOP THREE! TOP THREE! OH MY GOD I’M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! SWEET MARY MCGILLICUDDY I CHOOSE LIFE!” and there’d be a big stain down the front of my trousers, but it would all be worth it. Yes it’s that good.
Holmes, absolve me and right this wrong. Try the Lime Green Tea. If you don’t I will chase you with the rake, god as my witness, you son of a bitch.