Dang, dude. Now I’m sitting here totally wanting a hardcore smoothie, like posthaste. As you know, I came of age in California, and I think the whole concept of an entire store devoted solely to smoothies really came of age in that state, too (as did the whole “wrap” sandwich shop phenom). And yet the only smoothie place I frequented was Jamba Juice, a franchise that was often found right next to Noah’s, a franchise bagelry — sort of like how Starbucks and the Gap appear in pairs, usually sometime during the night.
And even though I consumed my fair share of their smoothies, sinking so far as to speak aloud their embarrassing names like “Peach Pleasure” and “Boysenberry Bliss” and specifically requesting the Fiber Boost supplement to keep me regular, they really weren’t all that great. Or they would be great once in a while, but you couldn’t depend on it. Sometimes too icy, or too tart. Sometimes the Peach Pleasure was way too orange-y for some reason. Just flat-out B.S. like that.
Oh but one thing that was consistently great was their pumpkin smoothie, which was only available in the fall and was basically like drinking a nice, refreshing cup of Pure Autumn. Cool, atmospheric, tinged with sadness.
Why there aren’t more (or any?) make-your-own-smoothie places I’ll never know. I’m a big proponent of make-your-own-sandwich bars, too. But I mean, you could theoretically get your own high-end blender and make your own smoothies at home, but I don’t want to keep tons of ingredients on hand all the time. I want to walk into a store and see where my bitch-ass whim takes me, is that so hard to understand? Didn’t we just blow up Iraq to make the world safe for make-your-own-smoothie shops?