God I am so sick of antioxidants. I mean I’m as opposed to free radicals and premature aging and heart disease and certain cancers as the next guy, but when did pricey bottled beverages get so stodgy. My grocery store is cluttered with these antioxidant drinks and I guess maybe it’s because of the demo where I live in SW Connecticut (Botox County, USA), but I’m washing my hands of the whole thing, like OCD-stylee.
The last straw was Bossa Nova Açai Juice. Açai is “nature’s healthiest, highest antioxidant fruit” is says here, and in [yet another] chart on the back of the bottle, we learn that the humble açai crushes even the pomegranate when it comes to antioxidants.
I’ll be honest with you, for once. There was a small part of me that was hoping that I’d be experiencing a flavor I’ve never experienced before. That I’d knock back the juice of this fruit I’d never heard of and be just flat-out gobsmacked, and stymied as to how to describe it to you. There would be no reference point. I’d have to talk about it with bad album-review descriptions like “imagine if kiwi juice had sex with fresh salmon and their offspring went to Mexico for a three-day peyote journey into its own soul.”
Luckily I can spare you all that because this tastes basically like blueberries. And it’s another one of these drinks that is almost all aftertaste? It’s almost like water at first and then the flavor comes rolling through a second later? Like a quiet storm..? Anyway it’s smooth and pleasant enough, a nice level of sweetness, and it’s far superior to pomegranate in the flavor department, but whatever. Next time I’m spending my hard-earned $18.00 on three dozen cans of Sunkist. Just kidding it was not $18.00 but I am not kidding about the Sunkist.