A while back you had this short-lived but steamy affair with some V8 product and I thought maybe it was the V.Fusion here. (No seriously somebody approved the name “V.Fusion.” That is not a typo.) You were basically jumping up and down and flapping your hands all excitedly, saying “omigod omigod omigod”? Remember?
Anyway I don’t know if it was this stuff or not (maybe it was Splash?) but I decided to pick up a bottle because it was time to get back to the juice. You know. No more soda. No more lies. The real deal. It keeps me sharp [snaps fingers], on the edge [snaps fingers], where I gotta be.
But believe you me I cracked open this stuff with extreme prejudice. V.Fusion [sic] is a fruit and vegetable combo plate, OK? Sure it makes the fruit the hero on the label, but they sneak in — and I am not even kidding — sweet potato, yellow tomatoes (?!), and squash.
Sometimes I try to sell myself on the whole drink-your-vegetables concept, and I pick up the regular V8 and think: You know, this is going to be fine. No, this is good, this is good. This is the start of a whole new me. This is definitely the best way to get tomato and watercress and 2000% of my daily sodium needs in liquid format. And then I take one sip and make a big show of gagging and choking and then scramble around dramatically for the worst vodka ever to mix it with.
So I was all ready to start my shenanigans when I tried the Peach Mango iteration of V.Fusion, but what ho it went down nice and smooth. And although I feel like I semi-detected a smidge of vegetable flavor (or maybe just texture) in there, I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t known the ingredients beforehand. It just tasted like your standard multi-fruit juice blend, nothing fancy but a refreshing enough orange-ish mango-esque flavor. EXCEPT! A full serving of vegetables totally snuck into my body, ninja-style! I like tricking my body this way. My body deserves it after all the shit it’s pulled over the years.