Black Cherry Vanilla Coke

Alright, pursuant to the last post. Judging from some comments and conversations I’ve had since, I’m not the only person who wasn’t aware that Black Cherry Vanilla Coke has been on the market since ~7 months aft. A media brown-out like that means either a) we’re cankles-deep in a viral marketing campaign that has yet to gain momentum, or b) Coke shit its diaper and can’t figure out how to call the nurse. All fat-fingering buttons on the TV remote, all holding it up to their ear, all cantankerous about bad reception during a conversation with a long-dead family pet. Sad. Sad times.

Man, remember when Coke was on the Untouchables stizz? Pepsi’d be coming out with one lame marketing campaign after another, and we’d be all Excuse us, but we’re drinking whatever Cosby’s drinking, next order of business please.

But I guess it’s true that everything good turns sad and crappy eventually (But we at K4t appreciate your continued support!), so it’s no shock Coke is totally junior prom-ing it with the BCV. What I dislike about drinks like this is that they pile on too many flavors: nothing makes a strong impression, it’s all just varying shades of aftertaste. I always feel like some sips are all black cherry, some are more vanilla than anything, and the Coke flavor is buried too far down in all the noise. I spend all my time picking flavors apart and analyzing when I should be chillifying.

It’s too complicated. I can’t traffic with that nonsense, I’m a busy motherfucker. I just wrote “I’m busy motherfucking.” Ha ha. No but serious say hi to your mom for me.

9 thoughts on “Black Cherry Vanilla Coke”

  1. I had the misfortune to try this bev a few months ago… The crazy coffee shop located smack-dab in the middle of the Tender Loin in San Francisco (aka ghet-toe) seems to be privy to all the latest Coke varieties…
    At first I was really excited because I had fond memories of that particular tartness of black cherry (flavor at least) from my childhood raised on nothing but generic strange flavored sodas… but I had failed to see that they added vanilla, not until it was too late.
    Frankly, I thought the vanilla dominated and destroyed any of the badassitude of the black cherry… like some Coke exect, several years past retirement age, was offended by the black cherry bite and demanded it be tempered with vanilla… gah-ross.

  2. Did anyone else notice that if you take every other word it spells “Black Vanilla” And “Cherry Coke” ? Is this really the sort of accidental subliminals that the cola empire wants to be sending?
    “Balck Vanilla” makes me think of 2 things:
    1. The song “Ebony & Ivory” and
    2. Very, very old pudding.
    I’m sorry, I just felt that it had to be said, and I’m man enough to be the one to say it.

  3. Sorry, but I think that you are reading way too much into it. Let alone it doesn’t even really say “coke” any where on the bottle, that is just what people have come to call it. I don’t really think they meant anything by naming it black cherry vanilla. They were just combining actual black cherry (a flavor used in dr. pepper also) and vanilla.
    I did try this last weekend though, and I have to agree it isn’t the best. I do love the coke with lime though!

  4. Even the advertising for this product sucks. I saw a billboard for it. Some weird-ass looking cherry with white lipstick marks on it. Seriously.

  5. What I’m most concerned about is the fact that this shit is taking the place of my beloved Cherry Coke in most delis and pharmacies. I am outraged and plan to write a strongly worded email to some auto-response Coke complaints department. I will not break down and buy BCV, no matter how accessible you make it!

  6. I’m a coke lover. If I go to a restaurant and they ask what I want to drink, and I order a coke and they bring me a pepsi (and try to pass it off as a coke) I will send it back. I can tell the difference.
    This new incarnation is awful. The fact that they eliminated Vanilla Coke for this crap is just wrong. It tastes like bad cough syrup.
    Now what am I supposed to mix my vanilla rum with?

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