No idea how to pronounce the second word this one. In my quiet moments I cradle the bottle like a helpless infant in my hands and say things like “Silk!…Live, damn you!” Like in an exasperated Charlton Heston voice. And pronouncing it with a short “i.” Ah fuck, humor about heteronyms is basically impossible on the internet. In any browser.
Anyhooters. Did we ever talk at all about that homemade smoothie kick I was on a while back? Dogg I was getting straight ill, like on the mad scientist tip, with the frozen strawberries and the fruit juices and the yogurt and the what-not. I mean just allowing myself space to be creative, you know? I had one of them hand-held blenders (The Masturbatron 3000, if you want to look it up. Although maybe that was just the name I invented for it.) and I would just go at it, first thing every morning. It was probably the happiest I’ve ever been, except for those two months when you forgot to post anything here. But all dreams end, I suppose; turns out my blender was not dishwasher safe, and I’ve been too lazy to get a new one. Like the moment had passed and I had to mourn it on a subconscious level.
A friend, who perhaps knew of my sad story, recommended this here bev to me, and I have to say: Not bad. It was very yogurty, which I liked. My problem with a lot of OTC smoothies is they taste too thin and juice-y or have a weird graininess to them. And my problem with a lot of soy products is that they taste, you know, like soy. Which is not an awesome flavor. So I was pleased here. It’s very simple, like vanilla yogurt with some mango, and the viscosity dial set right to “Smoothie-ish.” Plus! Dairy-free! Colons of the world: stand up and testify to the gospel which I am preaching.
Basically I can see adding this to my morning routine. Wake up, spend 45 minutes in bathroom, pin a fresh picture of you to my dartboard, drink Silk Live, wonder how to pronounce it.