Lorina Sparkling French Berry Lemonade

Seriously would you just look at that bottle. Is that classy or what. That is classy. A bottle like that says 5-star Zagat. Crisp white linens and at least two forks. Lemon wedges in the water. If Maura Tierney saw me drinking this, she would definitely start returning my calls. Just as high-class as can possibly be. So tell me this: if I’m drinking such a fancy beverage, why don’t I feel superior to everyone else?

The drink is fine. It’s exactly what it says it is, but I wish it was more of everything it purports to be. I wish it was more juice and less soda. I wish it had more berry kick, but I also wish it was more lemony. I wish–I’ll go ahead and say it–I wish it was a bit less sweet. I wish that when I’d purchased it, at the fancy coffee shop near campus, the barista had given me the elevator eyes for just once, and maybe said something like Oh hey is that from France, I did a semester in Paris last year, and I would be like Oh really I bet that was a really amazing experience. And she would be like Yeah, I really learned a lot, not just about myself, but also about the ways of love. And I would lean in closer and hold her stare and be like Wow, cool, I would love to hear more about it, and she would be like Well I would love to show you more about it.

Anyways.

As far as the berry-lemonade genre is concerned, I think Sonic’s Lemon-Berry Slush is still the best bet. But how low-class is that? A “hamburger joint”? God, would you ever? Can you even imagine? Being waited on by people wearing sneakers? And visors? Who’ve never done a semester in Paris? I mean or so I’ve heard?

9 thoughts on “Lorina Sparkling French Berry Lemonade”

  1. I remember having the same impression, but loving it anyway, especially because if you buy it in the big bottles, they have the fun cap with the latch thing, kind of like on a bottle of Grolsch. I think the other Lorina flavors may be better, though.

  2. Aw man. You finally review something that I have actually tasted (and loved) and give it two stars.
    I drink it regular, but try to get the big bottles because the cap is so neat, as Miss E has pointed out. Plus I do feel superior drinking it. But probably not much more than usual.
    This is the best flavour. I only drink little glasses, though, because it is very, very sweet.

  3. I’m dying to go to Sonic. There are none in the area though, despite massive tv advertising.

  4. Maura Tierney is hot! NR or ER, doesn’t matter. Her hotness knows no TV format bounds. Except maybe one of those fishing shows. I’m not sure I’d appreciate her as much in hip waders.
    And in my book, any beverage that is, or pretends to be, French should be pushed to the ground and spit upon while having its masculinity called into question. But that’s just me.

  5. I agree with everyone else that the bigger bottles with the fun tops have more of an effect when you drink them then the little bottles with the normal twist top. I have had the limonade and it is one of my favorite drinks. I have to order these online because being in Utah there are not very many specialty stores that sell them. Being a HUGE fan of Lemon Berry flavors I will have to try this and the Sonic drink (Sonic’s we have many of)

  6. Also, has anyone ever tried Efferve? It is in the exact same bottle as Lorina and they even have a French Lemonade flavor. I haven’t tried it, but I was curious. Knockoff?

  7. I love the Lorina premium sparkling drinks. I agree with Pierce and Miss E: T cap on the big bottles some make me feel more superior than when I’m drinking my Diet Coke. After surviving (and being out of) a relationship with an alcoholic, I am planning a wedding for this March using these beverages. They are perfect for people like me who like the look of a fancy wine bottle, the taste of a refreshing fruit drink, with a bit of a “kick” and not having to worry about falling into the dismal place of the world of an alcoholic (or as bad, or even worse, someone who loves an alcoholic). I don’t mean to offend anyone. But, it’s nice to know there’s a great, classy drink I can serve knowing that no one will drive home drunk from my wedding. Also, as with Katie, I live in UT and wasn’t able to find it. I found out that Caputo’s italian restaurant has it (but my guess is the price is high). Also, I read that there is a place in Park City, UT (by TJ Maxx). A big plug for Lorina: I contacted them and got an immediate response with information concerning where I can purchase the bottles in bulk in planning for my wedding in CA. I wrote back and have found myself on a bit of a “crusade” to have the drinks advertised more and more accessible in UT. If you have any thoughts about how that could be done, Katie, let me know!

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