Mis-tah F! Where do you stand on pomegranates. I’m wondering. I remember some children-of-hippies getting one in their lunchboxes back at my hippie elementary school. They’d pick out the little seeds and eat them and to someone like me, who was a straight-shooting, missionary-style Capri Sun–drinker, it all seemed pretty exotic. And creepy. And a [...]
A few weeks ago I’m in a co-worker’s office and see this sexy-looking bottle on her desk and I’m totally eyeballing it lewdly and she says, “Oh yeah, Lorina Sparkling Lemonade! This is my favorite drink!” And I admired the tasteful label design and mentioned, you know, off the cuff, that I happened to “work” [...]
Somebody wrote us a while ago and said something like “hey turkeys howsabout shuffling some props toward the unimpeachable flavor of AriZona green tea w/ginseng and honey” and at first I thought: What the hell is up with the interCapping? I’m assuming that capital Z is in there to help differentiate between the beverage company [...]
I am all over any drink that boldly declares “Extreme Flavor”, “Product of Canada” and “Contains 0% Juice.” Always and forever. See my stomach frown and nod as if to indicate “It’s true. He does, and it makes me oh so sad.” as I reach eagerly for a bottle of Johnny’s Roadside Extreme Flavor Lemon [...]
Yesterday, instead of my normal lunch (whatever twigs and nuts I can scavenge from the bird feeder outside my cubicle window) I had one of them Snapple-a-Day Meal Strawberry Banana Meal Replacement beverages.
The question that I’m sure you’re asking right now is: Well, did it actually replace a meal?
The answer is: What am I, a [...]
OK, Mister Fuze Shill, I picked up two bottles of this alleged fairy-nectar, allowing a tiny ray of hope to penetrate my blackened heart. I popped open the Agave Cactus Replenish (and after weeks of Snapple, it was sort of disconcerting to open a bottle without a plastic seal around the lid — I felt [...]
Dang, dude. Now I’m sitting here totally wanting a hardcore smoothie, like posthaste. As you know, I came of age in California, and I think the whole concept of an entire store devoted solely to smoothies really came of age in that state, too (as did the whole “wrap” sandwich shop phenom). And yet the [...]
