A List Of Reasons Why I Might Possibly Need A Treat This Week:

Had a date but forgot how fast I get pit stains when the temperature is above 20 °C.
Wore my new hiphuggers but no one lovingly referred to me as a muffin top.
Sarah in Accounts Receivable did her impression of how loudly I blow […]

Dear Josh:
I remember the time you had sex with Sean Connery.
You gave yourself utterly to his ecstasy, so overwhelmed were you by his brute beauty. All through that long night–that night you prayed would never end–his passion was relentless, merciless. He reduced your soul to embers, your heart stirring in awe of the mastery, the […]

Oh stop it, don’t look at me like that. I patronize my local independent coffee shops PLENTY, I assure you. And besides Starbucks–on its own–has given me a lifetime’s worth of reasons to regret ever going there, so you can worry a little less about what I do with my time and worry a little […]

If you ever read my emails you would know that lately I’ve been all hopped up to sample this new hot fudge shake at Steak & Shake.
(Since you don’t have Steak & Shake out your way, the background is that they make pretty decent shakes (chocolate/vanilla/strawberry/mocha/choc mint/banana/probably others I’m forgetting) and now for an extra […]